Virtual relationships and the art communication

August 8, 2009 by Noel Gomez
Filed under: General

Services like Twitter and Facebook have allowed us to connect with people in ways we never imagined. They have also allowed us to learn more about these people and to put our virtual feet in our mouths without even know we had.

You see, verbal communication and written communication are very different beasts. When you hear someone tell you something you get cues about their intention and motivation from the manner in which they say it. If someone is speaking to you and you are standing in front of them, you can pick up additional cues, but in the written word all you have are the words in front of you.

Some people are naturally gifted at writing eloquently. These people can defuse conflicts with just the right words, however, there are others who can innocently put a few words together and come across the wrong way. A comment made in jest or the combination of several tweets over time can distance those with whom you’d previously had close relationships.

The problem with social networks is that it is very hard to know if those in your network have been offended by something you said or something you did. It is even more difficult to try to mend a relationship once you think you have offended someone. In this new medium we don’t “have to” work with one another. We can block a user or simply choose to ignore them.

An employee known to work at a certain company posts a link to a video and their followers will unconsciously attach the emotions the feel while watching the video to the company. If a person makes a comment about healthcare reform, the type of computer they use, the political party they belong to or if their positions on such matters can be inferred, some followers will superimpose their offline prejudices on to those people and possibly the companies they work for.

We all look for ways to connect with others who share our passions, the problem now is that these passions are now being merged on to the same stream. One of your followers may share your interest for a programming language, but the same person may detest your love for Sarah Palin.

In the long run we are going to have to make a few concessions if we want to make the most of this new medium. We are going to have to learn to be more open with one another and instead of ignoring those who hurt us we could try to find the best in them and learn to forgive. We are going to have to understand that we are all multi faceted individuals and while in some ways we will agree, in other ways we may not. We shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water because there are still great things we can learn from one another. Now more than ever we need to give people the benefit of a doubt because some people are just not as gifted at putting together 140 characters as others.

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